


Not again. I can't lose you again.

by jessthemess19



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Awesome May Parker (Spider-Man), Hurt Peter Parker, I'll just add some random ones, May Parker acting as Peter Parker's parental figure, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Avengers, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, idk how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-11 12:32:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15972380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessthemess19/pseuds/jessthemess19
Summary: Hey so I uploaded like 600 words of this chapter but I added to it so if you read the first bit then you can skip to the start of the doctor speaking. Enjoy!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so I uploaded like 600 words of this chapter but I added to it so if you read the first bit then you can skip to the start of the doctor speaking. Enjoy!

“M-mr Stark?” Peter whispered breathlessly, clutching at his side. 

“Hey Kid what’s up? You know I was thinking about having another movie night, get the avenger’s around again. You up for it?” Tony paused to hear the kid’s reply, but was greeted with silence. “Or it can just be us kid. You choose.” 

“Yeah, y-yeah maybe.” Black spots danced over Peter’s vision as he adjusted his hand to completely cover the gushing wound on his side. He couldn’t help but cry out as he felt a fresh wave of blood begin to pour over his fingers. 

“Kid, are you okay? FRIDAY, check the Kid’s vitals” 

“Mr-mr Stark? Mr S-stark I’ve been shot” Peter whispered, promptly passing out on the concrete, blood pooling around him. Tony shot up and instantly activated the Iron Man suit, already heading out of the window before the suit was complete. His heart was beating fast in his chest. What if he didn’t get there in time? 

“Boss, 3 minutes until we reach Mr.Parker’s location.” FRIDAY informed him. He needed to get there faster. He turned down a small alley, nearly hitting the wall of an apartment block in the process. It would at least cut a minute off his journey. How did this happen? Peter’s suit was bullet proof – he had made sure of that. Even though Peter had rejected the Iron Spider suit after his experiences on Titan, Tony had been sure to upgrade his old suit, making it just as good as the IronSpider. So how on earth did he get shot? As Tony rounded the corner he saw the most disturbing sight. Peter lay in a pool of his own blood, mask off, eyes shut and lip bluing, unmoving. His suit was ripped. That’s how he was shot. Tony cursed to himself and flew down next to Peter. 

“Hey Pete, I’m here. It’s me it’s Tony… c’mon kid open your eyes.” Tony began to panic as he looked down at the gunshot wound. The bullet had entered Peter’s ribs, and from what Tony could see, it hadn’t come back out, meaning that it was still in there. “Kid c’mon.” Tony mumbled as he picked up Peter’s small frame, cradling it into him. “I’m taking you to the medical team at Stark Tower okay? Is that okay Kid?” Tony asked, gaining no response. “FRIDAY, call May Parker” Tony hoped she wouldn’t pick up. He hadn’t been able to protect Peter again. He couldn’t loose Peter again. 

 

_“Mr Stark? I don’t feel so good…”_

 

“No, no this time wasn’t like that” Tony thought to himself. 

 

_“I don’t know what’s happening!”_

 

“It won’t be like last time Pete.” Tony practically sobbed, tears streaming down his face as he flew towards the tower. “I’ve got you Pete. I’ve got you this time” 

“M’sterstaaark?” a mumbled reply came from his arms. “M’str Strk don’t cry” The mumble came again. Tony looked at the boy who now had his eyes half open. 

“You’ve been shot and you’re telling me not to cry?” Tony chuckled, tears still falling down his face. 

“I-it hu-rts” Peter said inbetween choked sobs. He was still bleeding. 

“I know baby boy. I know. It’s okay baby boy I’ve got you.” 

“TONY? TELL ME THAT IS NOT PETER I CAN HEAR?” May’s voice came screeching through Tony’s suit. He had totally forgot that he had called her – she must have heard everything.  
“May? May Peter’s been hurt. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry. I should have been there. I’ve got him now and I’m taking him to the tower, can you met us there?” Tony tried to stay composed so that May wouldn’t panic, but his sobs betrayed him. 

“Tony, Tony it’s not your fault. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” May reassured him.

~

“Sir, I’m afraid he lost a lot of blood, but we think he is going to make it. The wound is simple and we can remove the bullet easily. He is being prepped for surgery now.” A doctor in scrubs informed Tony.

“Thank you so much” Tony replied, letting out a gush of relieved air. He hadn’t even realised that he had been holding his breath.

“Tony?” May said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Is he going to be alright?” Her face was tear stained and she was out of breath – it was clear she had come in a hurry. Tony pulled her in for a hug, both of them physically relaxing at the reassuring gesture.

“They’re taking him in for surgery now, but they think he will be okay.”

“Oh thank god” She whispered into his shoulder, and Tony felt her tears pool in his clavicle. 

They stayed in the hospital for what seemed like hours, reading every magazine available, catching brief moments of rest before jolting themselves’ awake each time a doctor passed the room, fidgeting until even the seconds felt like hours. It had been about 6 hours when the doctor finally told them that Peter was out of surgery and recovering. Tony and May practically shot out of their seats, running towards the room with the small boy in. He still looked awful, tubes and wires sticking out of him and a slow, steady electrical beep continuously sounding in the background. 

“You can have this one” Tony said, gesturing towards the armchair next to Peter’s bed. 

“Thanks. Are you okay with the plastic one?” May asked, smiling slightly at the small uncomfortable looking chair on the other side of the bed. 

“I’ll be okay” Tony chuckled, getting as comfortable as possible in the tiny chair. They both fell asleep in minutes, only being woken by the sound of two people entering the room.

“Hey Tony.” Bruce’s familiar soft voice broke through the silence. 

“Hey.” Natasha said from behind him. He glanced at Peter lying motionless in the bed, her heart dropping slightly. “Is, is he going to be okay?” She asked, concern showing in her voice. 

“Yeah he’s going to be just great.” Tony joked, casting his eyes once again over Peter’s sleeping face. 

“Tony, how long have you been here?” Bruce asked, laying a hand on Tony’s shoulder and glancing towards May. 

“About 17 hours now…” 

“Tony. Go home.” Bruce said with Natasha nodding in agreement. 

“No, we need to be here… what if he wakes up?” Tony argued, but one look at how exhausted May looked and how tired he felt, he agreed. 

“Go home tony – bring the kid some blankets and a hoodie. Or one of those Star Trek/Wars films he loves so much” Natasha joked. 

~

“You’re awake!” May said as she rushed to Peter’s side, hugging him as tight as she could in his position. “God I was so worried!”

“I’m really sorry May… it was my fault I was being arrogant I thought I could take them all down and”

“Pete, it’s okay. Don’t worry. I love you so much no matter what.”

“Hey kid…” Tony said, relief washed over his face as Peter’s lips curled into a smile. “I brought you a couple of things.” He said, holding out a bag with hoodies, films, books, and a large blanket. 

“Thanks Mr.Stark. It means a lot” Peter said as he looked through the bag, eyes lighting up at the items inside. 

“Kid, it’s Tony.” A smile spread across both Peter’s and Tony’s face as he pulled the boy into a hug. God he could stay like this forever.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I have experience with kids who think they can take on the world single handed"

“It’s good to see you smiling kid.” Bucky said as he ruffled Peter’s hair. “You know Steve, he reminds me of you so much.” 

“What! No I don’t! I’m not like Captain America – Spiderman is so much better!” Peter protested as Steve and Bucky started to make their way out of the room. 

“No Pete!” Bucky chuckled, throwing his leather jacket over his bionic arm. “I mean, you remind me of pre-serum Steve.” 

“What?” Steve asked, eyes questioning. 

“A kid who thinks he can save the world single handed? Yeah I have experience with that kind of person” Bucky gestured towards Steve, who blushed. 

“Shut up Buck!” Steve protested, dragging the ex-assassin out the door. Peter settled down once again into the uncomfortable hospital bed. Each day he felt he was getting better and better, but the wound still hurt like hell. It took all of Peter’s strength not to swear when he adjusted his position, placing pressure on it. Why was he so tired? 

“Hey Peter! I know Steve just left but are you up for visitors?” An accented voice asked. Wanda and vision floated through the door, but saw how exhausted Peter was. “Peter?” Wanda asked again, this time softer. Peter’s heavy eyes began to droop shut, but he pulled them apart long enough to greet the visitors. 

“Yeah yeah, sorry, come in” He mumbled, yawning. 

“Mr.Parker, we can come back” Vision said, concern showing in his usually robotic voice. 

“No it’s okay. Please stay” Peter looked up at them with his big bambi eyes. 

“Okay… if you want to sleep now though you can.” Wanda reassured. Peter couldn’t stay awake for much longer, not helped by Vision’s soothing hand on his arm and Wanda’s Sokovian singing. He slept for hours which felt like days, but he woke up more tired than before. How was that possible?

“Hello Peter!” Bruce’s voice cut through Peter’s thoughts. “How are you feeling today? Any better?” 

“Tired. Kinda numb.” Peter mumbled, still trying to shake off sleep. The doctor looked at his fingers, examining them closely, a sad expression on his face. “Bruce? Everything okay?” Peter asked, but knew the answer as soon as he glanced at his fingers. 

“Now when were you going to tell us about that?” Bruce asked, motioning towards the purple/red bruise like rash which had completely taken over the tips of his fingers. 

“Um, I thought it was just because I lost blood.” Peter said, voice growing quieter each moment Bruce didn’t speak. “Bruce? What is it?”

“Um. God. I don’t know how to tell you. God I’m not this kind of Doctor.”

“Bruce, just tell me. I’ve already been shot how much worse can it get” Peter joked, stopping immediately when he saw the expression on Bruce’s face. Of course Tony had to enter the room at that exact moment. Peter shoved his hands under his blanket again, hiding them from Tony. 

“What’s up underoos? You cold?” Tony asked, moving to the side of his bed. Peter just nodded, he was cold. Really cold. Why was he so cold? He couldn’t feel his fingers or toes, and it took all his power to stop the shivers from escaping. Tony couldn’t know. 

“Tony…” Bruce said, his voice strained. Peter begged Bruce with his eyes, which were filed with tears, not to tell Tony, but it was of no use.

“Yes dear?” Tony joked. 

“Peter, show him your hands.” Bruce sad sadly. 

“No.” 

“What’s going on Pete?” Tony questioned, confused. He looked towards Peter, whose cheeks were damp with tears. 

“Tony…” Peter said, reluctantly showing him his purple hands. 

“Bruce. Get a doctor. Right now. GO!” Tony said, growing more frantic by the second. The doctor came running to Peter’s room, took one look at Peter’s hands, and made the diagnosis no one wanted to hear. 

“It looks like Septicemia. It is treatable, but it will take time. I have to warn you it might not work.” The doctor said gravely, looking between Peter and Tony, who were both crying.

“I’ll do anything.” Tony said, holding back a sob. 

~  
Peter had now been in the hospital for 3 weeks in total, and each day he just got worse. Tony and May barely moved from his side, living only for those moments when Peter would wake and give a weak smile, or crack a joke. The treatment wasn’t working. 

“Okay Peter we are just going to check your vitals okay?” A nurse with brown hair and striking blue eyes asked, moving around the bed. 

“hmm yehh” Peter mumbled. May sat next to him, pushing his curls off his face, damp with sweat. His skin was grey, and his eyes were sunken with huge black bags underneath them. Each day the Avenger’s had come and sat with him, telling him stories of recent missions, or just telling him about their day, but most of the time Peter couldn’t even remember that they had come. Ned had come every day, often refusing to leave. Sometime MJ came too, pretending that she didn’t actually care but in truth, you could see the worry lines on her face, and it was clear she hadn’t been sleeping. Peter’s illness had taken a toll on all of them, but most importantly it had taken a toll on Tony and May. 

“I’ve got some good news.” The nurse said, turning towards May and Tony, whose faces had both lit up. “It looks like the treatment has finally taken hold. It’s still a long road, but for now, it’s working.” Both May and Tony shot up and hugged the nurse, who looked a little shocked. 

“You hear that baby boy?” May asked, returning to Peter’s side. “You’re going to be okay!” 

~

Three days later, and Peter was getting better. He stayed awake for longer, had started eating meals again and he could actually hold a conversation again without falling asleep. He was getting better. 

“Kiddo, you wanna get out of this room?” Tony asked. 

“Yeah okay?” 

“Don’t get up if you feel like you’re not up to this.” Tony warned. 

“No, I think I can do it!” Peter insisted, but as he got up, he had to sit back down, his vision going fuzzy and a ringing starting in his ears. 

“It’s okay Kid, we don’t have to go out today.” Tony reassured. 

“No. No I can do this.” Peter said, growing short of breath. He couldn’t even sit up any longer, he had to sit down. If only he could close his eyes for a moment. Why did it hurt so much? He felt so weak, he couldn’t hold Tony’s hand anymore. He just needed to close his eyes for a second. He could see that Tony was saying something but he couldn’t tell what. Everything sounded muffled, he could only hear the sound of the pounding in his head. He just wanted to close his eyes. His eyelids fluttered closed, and he was taken by the darkness. 

Beep

Beep

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've changed this to 4 parts, and part 4 is up and ready to be posted tomorrow. Maybe everything will be okay...   
> Also read this chapter whilst listening to Say Something because that's what helped me write it.

“Peter? Peter? Pete, what’s wrong?” Tony grew frantic, looking at the lifeless body in his arms. “HELP!” He shouted down the corridor. “It’s okay Pete. It’s okay. Just hold on for a little longer. Pete just listen to my voice!” Tony sobbed, the sound of the continuous flatline overtook his senses, drowning out any sound, replacing his thoughts with its never-ending sound. Tony’s breath got caught in his throat, and suddenly he couldn’t breathe. He kept shouting, sobbing and screaming, he needed Peter with him. “PETE! JUST WAKE UP! PLEASE” 

Doctors surrounded him, pulling him off the small frame of the boy. Peter was lost in a sea of blue scrubs and medical masks, and Tony could only watch in horror as they began to perform CPR, repeatedly crushing his chest with their hands. “He’s flat lining. Charge the de-fib to 100.” One doctor said. 

“100. Stand back. Clear” The doctor shouted as Peter’s chest jolted upwards. 

 

Still no heartbeat. 

 

“…34, 35. Charge to 150. Clear.” Peter’s chest jolted again. 

 

Still no heartbeat. 

 

“Pete, pete c’mon.” Tony said, stroking the kid’s pale cheek which was damp from Tony’s tears.

 

“Charge to 200. Clear” Peter’s chest jolted again. 

 

Still no heartbeat.

 

“Stop…” Tony mumbled through his tears. “Stop! You’re hurting him!” Tony managed to say louder, but no one paid attention to him. He ran and grabbed Peter’s hand, kissing and squeezing it, repeating the words “you’ll be okay” over and over, hoping that his words could bring him back. The boy’s body was pushed into the bed each time the doctor placed pressure on his chest, almost folding it in half. Tony had to look away. 

The doctor sighed and ran his hand over his face. “Okay that’s enough. Time of death”

“No. No. NO!” Tony shouted.

“Time of death – 13:34pm.” 

“No! BRING HIM BACK” Tony yelled, clutching Peter tight into his chest. “BRING HIM BACK! YOU DIDN’T TRY!” 

“Mr.Stark, we did all we could.” The doctor said, trying to calm the billionaire down.

“NO YOU DIDN’T! Pete, say it’s just a joke! Say you were just pretending! JUST SAY SOMETHING!” 

“Mr.Stark, please…” 

“SHUT UP! Pete, no I can’t lose you again. Pete, no… He was fine just a minute ago!” Tony protested, still clinging onto the limp, lifeless body. “Please Pete just SAY SOMETHING. God this is all my fault! Pete please just open those big bambi eyes for me. Please. I’m begging you… PETER JUST COME BACK!” 

~ 

May walked into the hospital room which she had spent so many hours, eyes resting on the still occupied bed. Tears welled in her eyes, but she didn’t stop them. 

“May…” A hoarse voice to her left said. “I’m so sorry…” 

May hesitated for a moment before striding swiftly to the side of the bed, taking Peter’s tiny, limp, pale hand into her own. Tears cascaded down her cheeks as she placed a kiss on his forehead. “Hey Pete… its okay baby boy. You needed to go.” A sob racked her body as she stared down at her son lying lifeless, still hooked up to all the machines that kept him alive not an hour earlier. Tony enveloped her in a hug, and both of them stayed there like that for what felt like days.

 

“It’s okay baby boy. Ben will be happy to see you again…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dangled the idea of a happy ending right in front of you didn't I :) Stay tuned for part 4, and comment if you like the fic - I love hearing what you want to happen or ways I can improve!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! Hope you enjoy!

Tony walked among the tombstones, finally stopping at the fresh mound of earth with a white headstone with gold lettering. He knelt before it, tracing his fingers over the words:  
“Here lies Peter Benjamin Parker, aged 16.” Tony said aloud, feeling tears welling in his eyes. “Some are bound to die young. By dying young a person stays young in people's memory. If he burns brightly before he dies, his brightness shines for all time.” Tony and May had decided that they wanted that quote on his gravestone, because Peter Parker truly did shine brighter than anyone in both of their lives. Tears spilled over Tony’s cheeks as he turned his head to look at the envelopes littering the recently dug grave, some with flowers attached, some just alone. 

“To: my best friend” – Your guy in the chair

“To: the boy I always loved” – MJ

“To: My happiest accident” – May Parker

“To: The kid I was always jealous of” – Flash Thompson 

“To: The kid from queens” – Steve Rodgers 

“To: The kid who thought he could save the world all by himself” – Bucky Barnes

“To: The spiderbaby” – Natasha Romanoff

“To: The the youngest member of the science bros” – Bruce Banner

“To: The one who kept Loki sane in the soul world.” – Thor

“To: The kid who brought Tony back” – Rhodey

Tony’s eyes blurred with tears and he couldn’t read anymore. He looked at the envelope in his hand, running a hand over his eyes and sighing. He turned and sat on the grass next to the uprooted ground, staring out at the view of New York from the hill Peter was buried on. 

“Hey Kid. God what a view. You would have loved this view – you would have sat up here for hours, talking my ear off when we went for a picnic or something, pointing at all the buildings you helped stop crime, and I would act uninterested and pretend you’re rambling was annoying, but honestly? Honestly, Pete, I felt nothing but pride. Pete I was so proud of you. I still am. I mean, you put yourself at risk to help those I wouldn’t even think twice about, and it cost you. Damn it cost you.” Tony looked again at the white piece of paper in his hand. “I had such plans for you, you know? I couldn’t wait to see you properly settled into the Avengers, couldn’t wait to watch you leave for college, even though I would miss you like hell. I couldn’t wait to see you get married, to see you with your children. Hell this should be the other way round kid – you should be putting me in the ground.” Tony joked, chuckling sadly through his tears. “Don’t worry about May, she is living with me in the tower. The apartment just had too many memories of you. I brought you a little something from home though.” Tony said, reaching into his back pocket and bringing out a little lego figurine. “It’s a limited edition Spiderman. I thought you might like to have it.” Tony placed it in one of the bunches of flowers, nestling it in as if he were tucking Peter into bed like he had done so many times. “I have so much to thank you for Pete, all those times you pulled me out of my dark hole, so many times you saved me just by sending me a stupid photo, or a stupid quiz. You know what kiddo? I know now that God is real, cus he gave me a perfect angel. And that angel was you Underoos.” 

Tony smiled as he wiped the never ending flow of tears from his face. He reached down and placed the envelope on the grave, taking one last look before he walked away. 

 

“To: The son I never got to have.” – Tony Stark

 

~

 

_Hey Mr.Stark! Don’t be sad! I’m okay now. I like it where I am, nothing is bad here. Ben is here as well, and he keeps me company. I wish you and May could see me now, you would be so proud of me…_

_I’m so proud of you Mr.Stark. ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well done for making it through the emotional roller-coaster! I hope you have enjoyed reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing it and I hope you all have the most amazing of days! Love you all for your positive feedback - leave a comment if you have enjoyed the story!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed! The first chapter is a little short but I'm hoping to make the whole story 3 chapters long. Will be uploading soon!


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